One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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