She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
