No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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