Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
