Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
As shirtless as possible
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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