im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
