his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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