When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
you would pick up someone in the library
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
