big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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