Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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