"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
