I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
