I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
