you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
