Plan B is the new Plan A
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
