do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
