Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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