Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
