Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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