So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She's the barista slut.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
