will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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