I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
