You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
