Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
