Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
