somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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