"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
