Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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