just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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