Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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