PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
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It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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