Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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