The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
