Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
