i can't believe i had my finger in that
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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