I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
