I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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