Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
