her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
