There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
