just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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