My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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