don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
