I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize