he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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