I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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