i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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