I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
