VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
