THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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