just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
