Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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