we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
