You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
