Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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