That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
