I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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