I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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