Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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