My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
