sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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